Quiet Time

Sometimes I think that the hardest part about changing Nathan's bedtime routine is the effect it would have on my nighttime routine. Our current routine is for me to sit in the rocking chair with him on my lap, rocking him for a while and then moving him to the crib for him to fall asleep. Some nights are easier than others, particularly when there are grandparents around to wear him out during the day. As we sit together in the dark of his room, a CD plays on the clock radio, be it Jewel's Lullaby album, Cradle Classics, or one of a few Enya albums. While Nathan drifts off to sleep (or tosses and turns sleeplessly, depending on the night), I sit next to him in the rocking chair, enjoying the peace and quiet. I have been known to wake myself up after a short time with the sound of my own snoring, so I can attest to the fact that lullaby CDs do not work exclusively on babies. This brief moment of quiet has become part of my routine over the past seventeen months, since I have been the one to put Nathan to sleep almost every night since he was born. Altering this routine could be more disruptive to me than to Nathan. I imagine that someday in the distant future when Nathan sends me to "the home," he will give my caretakers a few Enya albums for them to play on the nights when I am particularly cranky.

A Restful Night (Finally)

For once in what seems like a great while, Cat and I awoke this morning from a full night of uninterrupted sleep. Each night since we arrived in Anderson and frequently at home, Nathan had been waking up in the middle of the night for reasons unknown. Yesterday, though, the prolific amounts of drool led us to believe that he is cutting another tooth, so we gave him some Tylenol and Orajel before bed and hoped for the best. This evening, while getting him ready for bed, Cat checked out Nathan's upper gums and discovered that, indeed, his new incisors are just below the surface, so as it turns out, my haphazard application of Orajel was right on target. We tried the same routine tonight and are hoping for a repeat.

This trip to Anderson seems to be doing wonders for Nathan's development. The open expanses of floor space have given him ample opportunity to practice standing up, and the time to explore and play has made him brave enough to try some new things. Just this week, we've noticed some early signs of cruising; today, Nathan stood up under the dining room table and stepped from chair to chair without sitting back down. He also steps his way around the perimeter of the Pack n' Play to get within reach of whomever is standing nearby. In addition to the cruising, he has also tried crawling on his hands and feet like a gorilla. When he's not trying out these new methods of locomotion, though, he happily reverts to the tried and true method of crawling, so much so that his knees were red from all the movement today. With all the activity in the living room, the cats are still a little afraid to set foot in the room, but they are gradually warming up to him. Scooter actually hid under the sofa this evening to observe the activity for a while instead of bolting for the upstairs as he had been doing the previous days.

This afternoon, we paid a visit to Melissa, a friend of ours from Furman and one of Cat's bridesmaids at our wedding. She and her husband, Chad, live in Easley and just had a baby girl, Ava. Though she's impressively long, Ava is very tiny, so much so that Cat was a little afraid to hold her. It's been a while (if ever) that she and I had held such a tiny baby! Ava has recently discovered that she much prefers to nap when being held, the same behavior that Nathan long ago discovered and has yet to reform. Nathan seemed to enjoy the visit to Melissa's house. He spent much of his time crawling between their two sofas in the living room, standing up in front of each one and looking at Melissa for a nod of approval. I think he might have been showing off a little bit. Later this evening, we left Nathan with Grandma and Grandpa once more and headed out for the Zaxby's meal we had been craving for weeks. Just as anticipated, it was delicious. If Zaxby's permitted franchises north of Virginia, we might just open one in downtown DC and retire at 35 as millionaires. Yes, it's that good.

Changing the Sleep Ritual

A key phrase from my last post was, "...sleep through the night by himself." This is important because it did not happen in Louisville--at all. While on a few nights, we tried putting him to sleep in the Pack and Play, it never lasted for very long before the crying started. As a result, he spent each night wedged between Cat and myself in a queen bed. This being highly undesirable, we decided upon arriving home that it was time to break his old sleep habits. Instead of the previous routine, where I would be confined to the rocking chair for up to an hour, I now put him in the crib as soon as he finishes his bottle. On the first night that we tried this method, he was so dismayed that I had the audacity to leave before he was soundly asleep that he cried for almost 30 minutes. Since then, he's adjusted fairly well to the new schedule. Tonight, he whined once as I walked out the door and then immediately gave in to sleep. Now it's time to fix the nap habits.

A Perfect Weekend (Almost)

This weekend was the kind I had envisioned almost a year ago. For two days, I spent several hours in my comfy chair with football on television and a sleeping baby on my chest. Yesterday afternoon was spent watching the Clemson homecoming game, in which they handily defeated Duke. During much of the game, Nathan was napping on my chest while wearing his Clemson football uniform. His afternoon lasted through most of the game, so I had the perfect excuse to sit for hours and do nothing except nap and watch football. Cat also enjoyed the downtime, since she was able to get some chores done around the house that she had been unable to accomplish during the week when caring for an increasingly mobile and curious baby. Yesterday's pattern repeated itself today; during most of the Steelers game against the Chargers, I was ensconced in the same chair with Nathan on my chest. This time, though, I was the one in the football uniform: my London Fletcher Redskins jersey. The only downside was that Nathan's nap lasted until almost 6:30, so he missed his usual dinner time and was wide awake at his usual bedtime. He ended up going to bed at around 8:30 or 9 and it still sleeping at the moment, so we may be in the clear.

Friday, on the other hand, was not so pleasant. On that night, Cat and I both had to employ our weapons of choice--an iPod for her and earplugs for me--to survive the hours-long standoff over sleep that we had with Nathan. Though he went to bed around his usual time, it was a struggle to get him to move to the crib, and he woke up several hours later, noticeably unhappy that no one was holding him. The low grade whining continued off and on for several hours and through numerous unsuccessful attempts by both of us to get him back to sleep in the crib. Every time we tried, he would appear to be sleeping soundly in our arms, only to wake up and start crying when we laid him in the crib. By around 1 AM, both of us were at the end of our ropes, so we gave up and took measures to block out the sound. It was like San Francisco all over again, when both of us plugged into our iPods to drown out the cacophony of noises from the streets outside our hotel room. Nathan must have been at the end of his rope, too, because Cat barely made it through three John Legend songs before the he conked out for the night. He must have still been recovering from the ordeal this morning, because after a morning diaper change and feeding at 8:30, he fell asleep and slept until almost 11. Let's hope this debacle doesn't repeat itself anytime soon.

Resuming Combat

The Battle of Wills became a war of attrition today. I learned today from a grizzled veteran of previous battles--a coworker of Cat's with two daughters--that my time horizon for what constitutes "crying it out," better known as the Ferber method, was much too short. Instead of the 20 to 30 minutes that I had estimated, it turns out that I should be gearing up for stints as long as three hours. Armed with this new information, I commenced with the siege.

I enjoyed some initial success in the morning, when Nathan took a brief nap after crying for only 15 minutes, falling asleep entirely on his own. The afternoon, however, was an unmitigated debacle. After lunch, he acted like he wanted to extend his nap from the morning, so I put him in the crib to settle down. I soon learned that this was clearly, definitely, undoubtedly not what he wanted. The irony of his behavior is that, when put in the crib, he usually whines and screams because he doesn't want to be stuck in his room alone. However, when one of us finally comes to get him and brings him downstairs, he will often whine and scream because he's tired and needs a nap.

After a reasonable amount of crying, I brought him downstairs and strapped him in to the stroller for a walk. As is typical, he fell asleep on the walk, so I extended the walk by a few extra blocks to give him some more time to doze. It wasn't long before I had nearly run out of water in the 14-degree-above-average heat and could no longer stand being out in the hot sun (in October, of all things). After returning back home, Nathan was, naturally, wide awake. I considered sitting him on the picnic blanket in the front yard while I washed the Jetta in preparation for selling it this weekend, but Cat happened to call and quickly vetoed the idea. It was probably borderline unwise, anyway. The concept of washing and vacuuming a car prior to sale could possibly be the only thing of value I ever learned from Donald Trump. I forget where and when he said this, but, then again, I try to forget most things he says.

After some playtime with Nathan and his new Musical Jungle toy, I made another attempt at a nap, this time determined to wait him out. I soon learned that Nathan was determined to wait me out, as well. His waiting just happens to be much louder than mine. Fortunately, Cat arrived home at just the right time, and the two of us were more of less able to calm Nathan down enough to get him back to his usual evening routine. He is now sleeping soundly in bed. Hopefully, the events of today will mitigate the risk of a repeat of last night, when he awoke at 1:45 AM and stayed awake until almost 4 AM, nearly inconsolable. It eventually became so unbearable that we went against doctor's orders and fed him again to get him to go back to sleep. Considering the possibilities of future outcome, I'm not sure which would be worse--Nathan being the fat kid in school or Nathan being the kid with the mean parents who don't get enough sleep. I hope a third option appears at some point.

At the end of today's battle, I can grudgingly admit that this was my Stalingrad. The Sleep Nazi has suffered a loss.

Early Skirmishing in the Battle of Wills

I concluded today that Nathan will one day run a marathon. Why such certainty? Because the only reason that I finished the Marine Corps Marathon was because I'm stubborn enough to push my fat butt over 26.2 miles, blisters and recovery vehicle be damned, and Nathan has inherited his fair share of my stubbornness. Combined with the strong proclivity to obstinance that he inherited from his mother, he may very well end up running triathalons or ultramarathons. (Interesting philosophical aside here--Cat argued with my assessment that she is obstinate; that would, ironically, make her obstinate.)

His unyielding nature reared its ugly head today during my trial run at a day of playing Mr. Mom. Cat returns to work part-time on September 9th, so every Tuesday is my day to handle our little steelheaded bundle of joy all by myself. Now that I'm continuing my studies by reading a library of infant sleep guides, I'm trying new methods in order to get Nathan to nap during the day. I tried no fewer than five times today to get him to take a nap in the crib, but each time, he balked and let me know in no uncertain terms that he was quite displeased with me. Due to the techniques I have learned from reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child, I am now known alternatively as "The Sleep Nazi" or "The Baby Whisperer." The former is used more often when the response to the nap is screaming, a state that was much more common today than the actual sleep part of the whole nap thing. I'm aiming for three or four hours of total nap time during the day, but today, Nathan only managed about an hour and a half altogether. My luck at bedtime, however, is gradually improving. Tonight's bedtime occurred at 8 PM and, so far, seems to be holding. That's already an improvement from last night's 7:30 PM bedtime attempt, which didn't finally stick until about 9 PM. We're working on sleep one step at a time.

With such ordeals, I have a feeling that "Tuesdays with Dad" will become a bruising battle of wills between Nathan and me. A day of butting heads like mountain goats will probably result in Nathan being hoarse from screaming and me dealing with a persistent ringing in my ears as the result. But I will prevail. That's right kid, you're going down...for a nap.

Hitting the Books

It's been a while since I've had reading homework, but it's starting to come back. Last week, I took a training class for ITIL Foundations certification (I passed!) along with two evening prep sessions the week before. Due to the volume of content in the ITIL class and the newness of it all, I had to do a bit of reading in the evenings after class. Admittedly, this is rather difficult to do when holding a four-month-old infant who enjoys exercising his voice by screeching, but it is possible.

Now, both Cat and I are having to do our homework to learn new ways to get Nathan to go to bed at a reasonable time and stay asleep. Though we've been somewhat successful at moving his bedtime up to an earlier time, it has recently taken two or three tries to get him to stay asleep. We now have several books with a variety of methods to try for helping him learn to get to sleep on his own, from Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, to Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems, to The Bacardi Limon Method of Infant Sleep Therapy (just kidding on the last one). He generally does fine getting back to sleep on his own when he wakes up in the middle of the night, but the first step is the hardest. Tonight was particularly bad; the three hour nap he took in the afternoon screwed up his schedule, so he didn't finally fall asleep until almost 10 PM.

Last night offered an unexpected opportunity to take a break from the Olympics and do some reading. For about the fourth time since we've lived in this house, Comcast cut our cable when their technicians were burying the cable for other townhouses in our section. The damage was especially painful for us, since it cut out our TV during the Olympics and cut off our internet access right after we discovered Facebook. It was a rough evening of withdrawal. Thanks to Montgomery county's strict regulation of the cable industry, we were able to file a complaint with the county and get a technician out here today to repair the damage, one day earlier than what Comcast told us was the earliest available service appointment. Sometimes it can be quite nice living in the People's Republic of Maryland.

I've Got a Fever, and the Only Cure Is More Bubba

And I thought that Nathan's pose in his overalls with no shirt and a floppy hat was as "bubbalicious" as he could get. Oh, no, it gets better. Today, during a grocery run to Whole Foods and a trip to Buy Buy Baby, Nathan experienced a Hillsville-esque explosion, requiring two sets of hands, multiple feet of water-soaked paper towels, and a full outfit change to correct. The only problem was that there wasn't a second outfit. After the change, which must have taken a half-hour, we had to run the gauntlet from the back of Buy Buy Baby, where the family restroom with changing table was located, up to the exit in the front of the store, all while pushing a stroller with an intermittently-screaming baby clad only in a diaper. It could only have been better if I had been dressed in a wife-beater and denim cutoffs and used the stroller's cupholder to carry my Schlitz.

This experience surely helped wear him down to the point where he fell asleep at 8 PM, still a bit earlier than his usual bedtime, but it was by no means the high point of the day. Even higher on his list of accomplishments was the fact that he rolled over for the first time! Cat called me on the way home to announce that he had been showing off his new skill to her, rolling from his stomach to his back several times. When I got home, it took a while for him to assess my worthiness of viewing his new trick, but he finally showed me what he could do. With a quick turn of the head, he now flips himself over onto his back and revels in the new view. Looks like all the tummy time is paying off!

The downside of such progress is that we have now reached what we've read is the "Four Month Sleep Regression." You do not want to experience the Four Month Sleep Regression. The Four Month Sleep Regression will make you reach for the earplugs to prevent ruptured eardrums from the blistering screams of displeasure (seriously--earplugs). The Four Month Sleep Regression will make you long for the comparatively blissful paradise of Camp X-Ray. Apparently, when baby is working on a big new milestone, sleep takes a backseat to the physical and mental workout needed to reach the goal. Judging by the pitch and amplitude of his screams when he's fighting sleep, Nathan must be working on the Riemann hypothesis right about now. I hope he figures it out soon; I think my ears are bleeding.

Adventures in Babysitting

Yesterday was an interesting experience. While Liz and James drove to Virginia to write a contract on a new house, we took care of Wesley. At first, I was a bit terrified since Wesley was scheduled to arrive while Cat was at the dentist, leaving me alone with two babies, but Wesley arrived after Cat returned home. Once Wesley woke up from his nap and adjusted to his unfamiliar surroundings, he really was a load of fun. Liz and James brought along a bagful of his toys, so the four of us spread out on the nursery floor and watched Wesley taste-test each and every one of his toys. Nathan barely blinked (and barely slept) the entire day, as he was completely mesmerized by Wesley's actions.

Wesley is on a strictly scheduled routine (Liz brought a typewritten schedule of meals, naps, and bedtime), a practice that was rather instructional for us. Nathan's schedule is much more loose, often including no more structure than a late morning nap and a long (or very long on certain nights) feeding before bed, which can come anytime from 8:30 until 10. Tonight's "routine," if it can be called that, even reminded me of an old Simpsons Halloween episode. In the episode, Homer is condemned to hell, where a demon in hell's "Ironic Torture Division" attempts to torture him by strapping him to a chair and sending a conveyor belt full of donuts to his mouth. However, instead of protesting, a morbidly obese Homer devours every last donut, saying, "more...more...more...more." If Nathan could talk, he probably would have been saying the same thing this evening. Now, after many attempts at putting him to bed, he is finally asleep.

Grandma and Grandpa, are you ready for your visitors? Ready or not, here we come!

Growing Pains

Nathan passed two important milestones today; he outgrew his first pair of shoes and he had his first boo-boo. The shoes he outgrew are a pair of elastic-lined Winnie the Pooh shoes that came with one of his outfits. His toes now reach all the way to the end and his ankles barely fit through the openings. The momentous first boo-boo came this evening while lying on my shoulder after a meal. He has a tendency of rocking his head back and forth, sometimes violently, when lying over my shoulder. During this evening's burp session, he relaxed his neck at just the wrong time, bumped his little head on my collarbone, and clearly expressed his displeasure.

Right now, he is reclining in his swing, fighting sleep. This has become a disturbing tendency now that he has developed a voracious appetite for taking in the world around him. He spends much of his days keeping his eyes as wide open as he can pry them, worried that he might miss something wonderful if he shuts them for even a second. We finally coaxed him to sleep this evening during a long walk around the neighborhood, but are now worried that it may have just been a power nap to allow him to stay awake all night long. Aside from the occasional sleep-deprivation torture session he inflicts on us, the nights have improved considerably. I enjoyed a solid seven hours of sleep last night and we both slept for a pleasant five or six hours the night before. Because of this, my coworkers are now happy that they no longer have to work with a zombie. Cat is also finding that the fog of the first month is now lifting and that there's still a world outside of the house. Life goes on, after all.

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream For--Food, a Change, or Just the Heck of It

Based on the stories I heard, I gather that I picked a splendid day to go to work. In spite of her best intentions to go to the grocery store and continue writing thank you notes, Cat was sidetracked by several contiguous bouts of screaming and crying. She attempted a trek to Children's Place and Whole Foods with her friend Liz and Liz's son Wesley, but was forced to abort the mission after Nathan commenced his screaming fit in the first store and was unconsoled by an unplanned feeding in the store's changing room. By the time I arrived home, Nathan was well beyond tired and had reached the point of frustration with his inability to settle down. After much plying with food and various attempts at pacification, he finally crashed at 8:30 and is now sleeping soundly. We're hoping for a repeat of some of the recent evenings, when he has stretched his sleeping periods to five to seven hours at a time. Things are beginning to look up in the sleep department.

As a side effect of the restful nighttime sleep that he is finally getting, Nathan is now awake more often during the day, for better or worse. While this sometimes means that Cat is not able to accomplish everything she sets out to, it also means that he is more alert and active when we are up and about. We have taken advantage of this situation in recent days with a few long walks around the neighborhood and a brief photoshoot in front of the flowerbed. Much to his mother's enjoyment, Nathan took in the sunny afternoon on Saturday and posed for a few pictures in his new Pooh shirt and plaid pants.

Our increasing mobility has led us to consider travel plans with Nathan in the coming months. While a road trip to see family would certainly do him good, the thought of packing and traveling with Nathan and his raft of accoutrements is daunting, to say the least. Not only would he require the standard set of clothes and toiletries that Cat and I would need, he would also need a car seat, stroller, crib/Pack n' Play, bottles, feeding equipment, toys, diapers, diaper bags, etc, etc, etc. Fortunately, since we would be traveling to Kentucky by way of West Virginia and South Carolina by way of southern Virginia and North Carolina, the Beverly Hillbillies-esque vehicle that I imagine would not be entirely inappropriate for the surroundings. I'm curious to see how all of this equipment--not to mention the ever-growing infant--will impact our fuel economy. Not that the cost would make me consider flying; that thought just fills me with abject terror. The horror.

Reverse Psychology

Since my foolhardy wish for five consecutive hours of sleep the other night was a total bust, I thought I would try a different approach:

"Gee, I have so much recorded TV to watch that it would really benefit me if Nathan would stay awake all night. If he could just put off sleep for six or eight hours and demand constant feedings, I could really crank through all these episodes of Lost."

I'll withhold final judgment until tomorrow, but so far, it appears to be working. Instead of the measly three hours of sleep that Cat and I "enjoyed" on Wednesday night, we were both pleasantly surprised to awake this morning after a peaceful seven hours of sleep. It could have been the reverse psychology or the evening bath and the calming lotion that we slathered on him before bed, but whatever it was, it might be his new nightly routine.

Bubba the Cobra

A few days after his one month birthday, Nathan--aka "Bubba"--now weighs in at a hefty 12.8 pounds. We're rethinking the whole tight end thing; we might have a center on our hands the way he's growing. On the other hand, we might be raising a little snake charmer, as Cat learned the other day that he is potentially venomous. While feeding Nathan, she suddenly found her face speckled with liquid, much to her surprise. Like a deadly cobra, Nathan sprayed his unwitting victim with a shower of milk when his sneeze happened to coincide with a mouthful of breakfast. It's episodes like this that keep Cat busy with load after load of laundry during the day. She has quickly learned there is a reason that maternity leave is not called maternity vacation.

For those who have noted the recent dearth of postings, I must explain that my brain, which, like a bowl, once brimmed with literary ideas awaiting publication to the blogosphere, has now become more like a colander. The ravages of repeated sleep deprivation have certainly taken their toll. Whereas my Fridays were once a flurry of productivity, they now more closely resemble a half-drunken stupor that gradually builds through the week. Nathan has had a few nights with 4-5 hour stretches of sleep, but, like last night, there are frequent glaring exceptions. The fact that I was finally able to catch up a bit on Lost did not quite make up for the fact that I was sitting in the family room from 2:00 AM until 3:30 AM negotiating a transition to sleep with a hungry baby. Needless to say, I was largely worthless as an employee today. Nana and Grandpa arrive tomorrow, so perhaps there will be an opportunity to catch up on sleep just a bit.